So close....

I lost 2.8 this week! I did not think it would be that much, but of course that's awesome. I'm 3 lbs. away from my 10%. I know I probably won't hit it this week, but I'm trying my hardest. I'm really close to TOM, and I don't want to get discouraged. So we'll see. My brother and his family just got into town, so I'm going to try and be really good about my eating this weekend, because you know how it is when you're family's around. It's like all they want to frickin' do is eat! And not healthy foods either. I started my new job and so far it's going well. I haven't even gone in to the cafeteria because I don't want to be tempted not to bring my own healthy lunch. We'll see how long that lasts. That damn grilled cheese will be calling my name, and we might have to have a quickie in the back corner where no one can see.

Finally doing it....

I decided to suck it up (and in!!) and post some pictures. We went to the Pacific Science Center and to the Space Needle yesterday. My friend and her son had never been there, so even though I've lived here all my life, it was fun to be a little "touristy" I did go to Dick's though, which is a hamburger joint that is pretty popular. All they serve is burgers and fries for pretty cheap, but it's super good. So I used my flex points and splurged. It was a lot of walking though, so I think I earned an activity point or two.
I'm excited and nervous because I start a new job tomorrow. I'm still with the same company, just a completely different department. I'm also going back to full time. I loved staying home with Tyler, but it'll be nice to have the extra money because I know soon he's going to want to do more things and it'll be nice to take a vacation or something. I think it will also help with my eating because I know when I'm home, sometimes I eat just because I can. Even with WW, I'll think, oh I need a snack, and it's just more convenient for me to eat. Like I said, excited but nervous. Well, I'm going jeans shopping (!!!) because mine right now are a little baggy in the butt as my husband informed me. I hate shopping for pants, but at least it's for a better reason than before!!!

Up 1.2 lbs...

But it's okay, because I was ready for it. Our meeting last night was really awesome, and I'm so glad that our leader is back!! He talked about focusing more on the outcomes we are looking to achieve. This was great for me because I was just saying how bored I've gotten and I haven't been looking ahead at what I want to accomplish now. I'm hungry now, so I'm going to eat more....Now I'm reminded to look at a week from now, how will I feel if I eat that (fill in doughnut/cheese quesadilla/whatever happens to be sitting in front of me) So I'm glad to be back on track, and happy to see how well everyone else is doing. That's a nice bit of motivation as well.

Bad blogger, bad!!

I haven't been very good about blogging lately. Maybe it directly corresponds to my lack of tracking. Well, not total lack, but I haven't been as good as I normally am. I hadn't given up totally, and I was still losing...It was like I just hit a little bit of a bump. I've been really bored with what I'm eating lately. I eat the same things every week, I walk the same path with my buddy....I just got kinda bored all around. But I'm glad to be back. I realized how important it is to track and I've found some really great recipes. I know everyone pretty much knows Roni, and I love her recipes. She's a genius. So I weigh in tonight and we'll see how I did. I've hit the 15 pound mark, so I reallllyy hope I don't go backwards. I'm so close to crossing over into the 180's. And I finally got an unsolicited comment about my weight loss!! About frickin time!! I'll post again later once I weigh in. I'm going to go catch up on all my favorite blogs in the mean time.

Meetings

I don't know how most of you feel about meetings, but when my friend and I first started, we didn't think we were going to be staying for the meetings. We planned on just weighing in, staying for that first meeting, and then only weighing in after that. But we absolutely LOVED our leader, and we've stayed for all the meetings since then. Last Monday our leader was on vacation and the leader that filled in...well, I don't mean to be a downer, but she sucked. All we talked about for the whole meeting was how many points different restaurants were. I know the point she was trying to make was that what you might think is the best choice really isn't. Like you think you're being healthy because you pick the chicken sandwich, but then you find out it actually had more points than the double cheeseburger you really wanted in the first place. I told my friend I felt like the motto of that meeting was "just eat the double cheeseburger" and that wasn't what I needed after my weekend of splurging. We left feeling not very motivated. And I can honestly say I feel like it made a difference in how my week went. I didn't feel encouraged or inspired like I do from my normal leader. I guess there wasn't really a point to this message, just that I miss my leader and want him to hurry up and come back. And that I didn't realize how important a good leader is in my weight loss journey.

Good Day

My mom and I took Ty to the downtown farmer's market today. We also went to the Children's Museum again because it was free. It was a lot of fun - and a lot of walking, some uphill while pushing the stroller. I also walked with my buddy tonight so I'm glad I got some activity points in. I got some great veggies and yummy peaches. I'm trying really hard to find some different healthy things to make for dinner. I've been trying to find things that hubby and the almost-two-year-old will eat, but that's always a challenge. I just hate having to cook one meal just for me and sometimes hubby and then a separate one for Ty. I love Roni's page because she comes up with the best meal ideas. I wish I was that creative. Tomorrow I'm taking my Mom to get a pedicure because we missed her birthday while she was visiting my brother and family in CA. ***Sidenote: My brother is in the Air Force and we just found out he will be getting stationed up here at the end of Sept!!! I am so excited since he has been in for 20 years and is finally getting stationed near home. They have four kids - two older boys and then a twin boy and girl. I am really excited for Ty to have his cousins here. Plus it means big fun holidays (hold the food please!!!) so that's really exciting. Anyway, I'm going to check my favorite blogs and then head off to bed.

I had an "aha" moment

I was reading a blog entry today and the blogger was mentioning how she doesn't like to be photographed because she worries about her weight in the pictures. I smiled to myself in that knowing way we all have when we read someone else's blog and think "yeah, I know how that goes!" I don't even want to post a picture on my blog yet. But then I started thinking about how I try not to be in pictures because I don't want someone thinking how fat I look. And I realized that I'm very rarely in my son's pictures. I took that one when we went to the zoo, but when we went on vacation: no pictures of me. Went to the sprayground: no pictures of me. Went to the Children's Museum: no pictures of me. And I started to cry. Because I don't want my son to look back and not have any pictures of all the fun things he did with his mommy all because she thought she looked too fat. I was up 2.4 lbs at weigh in and I did not think I had gained that much AT ALL! So I am officially remotivated (if that's not a word, it is now!) So thank you to that blogger (I think she knows who she is!) for opening my eyes to a very important part of my life I am missing out on!

Holy Red Lobster, Batman!!

I think I used all of my flex points and maybe a few from next week as well. I ate, drank and was merry. And a little bit hung over. But it was ohhh sooo goood. My parents took Ty overnight and hubby and I went out with his BIL and fiancee. We went to Red Lobster for dinner. I swear officer, I had every intention of eating what I should. But then I ordered a fuzzy navel....just one. And then the shrimp trio. Seafood's healthy, right? Even if it's soaked in butter, alfredo, and deep fried? I mean, I got some omega acid out of it or whatever, right? That's what I tried telling myself. I won't even talk about the cheddar biscuits (Notice the plural?) And then we went to a bar. And then a different bar. And then a bar that had really cheap appetizers and munchies. Well, I'm a little scared to weigh in tomorrow. But you know what? I've done such a good job so far and I just felt like I needed to have a night off. I've done great today, and I'm sure I'll do great the rest of the week, so I'm trying not to feel guilty and give up because of one night. What's really funny is that my buddy called while I was out on my rampage and said she was feeling guilty because she ate some tortilla chips at Chevy's. I didn't have the heart to tell her about my debauchery. And hey, at least I wasn't cheating on my husband this time, because he was with me through the whole thing. No food hiding for me!! It was all out in the open!!! Well, I better go to bed because I've been trying to go to bed early for the last month, and so far I haven't been to bed before eleven. Maybe tonight. Yeah, and maybe tomorrow I'll wake up skinny.

Not-so-fat-face

My mom and I took Ty to the zoo yesterday, and I was really excited because when she took my picture with him, my face didn't look so chubby any more. Don't get me wrong, it's still chubby - just not AS chubby. Which was a nice change. Of course my boobs are still the same. I'm starting to notice my body slimming down a little bit, but not the girls. They are still as big as ever. Not in a good way either. Hubby is happy of course, but I'm really not. And I'm also starting to worry about the skin factor. After I had Ty, I had so much flippin skin!! I still do - it's kind of ridiculous. Now I'm wondering what will happen after I lose the weight. I've never really thought about surgery, but looking down at my tummy makes me reconsider. I'd have to wait though because I know we want at least one more child, but I think that will definitely be in the back of my mind. I'm so tired the words are blurring together a bit, so I'll try and write more tomorrow.

Ticket to Onederland, please!

That's right, I have crossed over. I weighed in last night and lost 2.4 lbs, which puts me at alllmmoooost 10 lbs. I was so close. But even more exciting: I'm out of the 200's. Even if it's only a tiny bit, I don't even care! My vacation this weekend was not as bad as I thought it would be. I think the most important thing that helped was that I didn't deprive myself of anything. I just had a little portion or a little taste and I really didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. I ate tons of this fruit salad with mint and lime juice - it was sooo good. And I danced my rear off at the wedding, so I even threw in a few activity points. I'm off today and I'm actually excited to go grocery shopping because I have some new recipes I want to try out. I think I might finally be getting it.

Where am I?!?!

Goodness gracious, I'm finally able to sit down!! Ty has been really sick for about a week now. It started out as a runny nose, no biggie. Then all of a sudden he was running a high fever and really lethargic. He was breaking out in hives all over, but then two minutes later, he'd be fine. I took him into the doctor, but they couldn't figure out what was going on. They finally just said he probably has a virus that he is allergic to as well. Yay. So that has meant many sleepless nights with the Cranky One (weird how they always seem to be sick at night, then the sun hits and it's like nothing happened) Anyway, I still lost 1.6 at my last weigh in (can you hear the angels, because I sure can) I was really worried that I had gained because I wasn't the best tracker while I was taking care of Ty. I am so excited though because my husband's sister is getting married this weekend, and I found a very flattering dress to wear. If they know what's good for them, someone WILL ask me if I have lost any weight. I told my husband if no one does, it's his job to mention it, hopefully prompting a comment. Downside is: his family is Hawaiian and they always have tons of yummy food. My plan is that I don't want to completely deprive myself, so I'll have a taste of my favorites, and then there should be enought fresh fruit and veggies to fill in the rest. His mom makes this really yummy haupia cake, but I'm scared to look up the points because I think one of the main ingredients is coconut milk. Enough said. Well, we are leaving ridiculously early tomorrow, so I better get my rear in gear. Have a great reast of the week and weekend!

Down 1.2

I lost 1.2 lbs. last week. Part of me hoped I'd lose more, but the other part knew I wouldn't because I didn't make the best choices for how I used my points. Oh well, it's a new week. And overall I've hit the 5 lb mark - 5.8 to be exact, so that's very exciting. We're walking the big trail again tonight, but this time we're walking the opposite way, which means bigger hills, but the hilly part is shadier and cooler. So we'll see how that goes. I have never been a runner, but one of my long (very long) term goals is to run this trail. I see people doing it all the time, but I've never even dreamed of doing something like that. But one day, I'm going to do it. But for now, we'll just focus on walking it.

What a weekend!

I don't even know where to start. I have been walking with my buddy a couple nights a week, and last night was a pretty cool evening, so we decided to tackle a new walking/biking trail they put in near our house. It's about 3.5 miles, and let me tell you it is MAJOR. The hills were killing us. I had to laugh (at the end after the sweat was drying and my breathing didn't sound like a freight train) because as we were chugging along, I was pushing Ty in the stroller, and he kepy leaning forward and pointing and shouting "GO GO GO!!!" People were like encouraging us saying how brutal it can be. But we did it!! Our faces were beet red and boy were we sweaty, but it was good bonding. I also shared with her my new favorite snacks: The Fiber One chocolate oat bars and also a wedge of Laughing Cow light spreadable cheese and reduced fat triscuits. Yum. One wedge + seven triscuits = 3 points!

(If you're squeamish, you might want to stop here. It's nothing too bad, but I thought I'd throw in the disclaimer just in case.)

Then I came home and got out my new mandolin slicer. (There are some of you who may already know where this story is headed.) I was so excited to use it because I was going to use it to chop up veggies and fruit to keep in the fridge for the week. Yeah, I sliced the tip of my pinkie finger off. Not the whole entire finger, but a substantial bit of my finger is now gone and won't grow back. I was horrified. I still am. I have been wounded in my quest for health and weight loss. I couldn't look, I just felt that I'd cut myself, grabbed a paper towl and wrapped my finger in it and went to find my husband. I must have been totally shocked, because I found him and said "please, don't say I told you so or anything smart, but I cut my finger and I can't look at it." Then I started crying. There was a lot of blood, and it hurts. A lot. And I can't look at cucumber slices because that's what I was cutting, and I'm a little scarred now I think. Tom had to throw away the plate of them for me. I asked if they could glue everything back together (my finger, not the cucumbers), but everyone looked at me like I had lost it. Other than that debacle, I had a good weekend point wise. I have my weigh in tonight, so I'll post the results later.

Shameless Mom-tactics

I really wanted a scoop of ice cream tonight, but the freezer was empty. So I packed Ty into the stroller and walked down to Baskin Robbins. I have to admit, I totally used Tyler. Because when a mom and a little kid come in, it's like "oh, look at the mom and her son, theyr'e out getting a scoop of ice cream together!" If I come in by myself, it's more like "oh, look at that lady! She hoofed it all the way down here by herself to add some ice cream to that butt!" There are some things that we don't usually do, but with our kids, it's ok. Another prime example: I wanted to get the new Harry Potter book at midnight when it came out. So I dragged my two nephews along with me so that I wouldn't look like a big dork all alone at the bookstore. It was actually really fun, we got posters and made wands. They had a blast. They are 5 and 12, so any opportunity to be out past bedtime was major -plus the fact they are huge fans as well.

I did get some activity in today though. I decided I'm going to log my activity on my blog as well as my points tracker so that I feel a little more accountable. I made sure my trek for ice cream was a brisk one so that I could count it, I did 25 min. of Turbo Sculpt, and Ty and I danced like crazy today to the Sgt. Pepper album while I was cleaning. I'm a big Beatles fan, I grew up listening to all my dad's music. I don't know how many activity points that equates to, but at least I know I was active. That's one of my main goals - even if I don't know exactly how many points an activity is, I'm trying to stay moving a lot more. Well, I'm off to read a few more blogs and then try and get to bed before 11. We'll see!


Points: 23.5/24 Activity: 25 min. TS/15 min brisk walk/15 min dancing =)

Yeah Baby!

4.6 pounds!!! Woo-hoo!! I was so worried that I hadn't lost anything, so when she said that I almost fell off the scale. Now, I know that the first week is usually a big loss and it's going to slow down, but I'm just going to revel in it for a while. That's pretty darn close to 5 lbs! It really made me feel motivated to keep going. I'm that much closer to doing the skinny dance!!

Cross your fingers!

I have my second weigh-in tonight and I'm just HOPING that I at least lost a little something. Because if I didn't, I know I'm going to be so sad. I think I have because I put on my work pants this morning and they felt a little bit looser. It must mean I've lost a little or that my fat is shifting. I hope to goodness it's not the second one. I've been reading about a lot of other victories so I hope I can post mine later tonight. Thanks for all the supportive comments everyone has left!!

Falling off the wagon...

I can already see that weekends are going to be a challenge for me. Yesterday wasn't such a great day. (let's just say Dairy Queen and leave it at that. You don't need the gory details.) We are usually out and about on the weekends, which means we end up eating out a lot more. I need to turn off the part of my brain that tells me "if you don't know how many points it is, that means it's no points at all!" And I know it's up to me to make the good choices. Grilled chicken vs. crispy, low fat dressing vs. full fat....I know. Today I tried veggie sausage and I was actually really impressed. It was the little sausage patties - two of them was 4 points, but compared to the real stuff, that's nothing. My son loved them too, so that's a bonus. Okay, I feel better now that I confessed to the Dairy Queen. I'm ready to make better choices today.

Me vs. The Candy Bar

I really like the fact that my employer likes to show that they appreciate their employees, but really. Do they have to give us all a candy bar to show it? And not a mini candy bar, not even a regular sized one. The KING SIZED 100 Grand bar (because they think we're "grand" Cute, huh? Not.) I stared at it for a while, and then I gave it to my coworker next to me. Now you may think, why would you do that to your coworker? Well, he's younger and more in shape than me and I felt bad throwing it away. Watching him eat it was kind of rewarding, because he reallllly enjoyed that candy bar. What would you call that? Eating junk food by proxy? Whatever it is, I didn't eat the candy bar, and for me that's big. It goes back to not eating the office birthday cake. These are usually my downfalls. I've been reading a lot of other blogs lately, and I really have to say that has helped me with this whole process. The feeling of community and the support everyone shares is very inspiring. I grab my water bottle and settle in to read some blogs and it really keeps me from snacking. That seems to be a common feeling I've noticed some other bloggers mentioning, so I just wanted to chime in and say I agree!

My first weigh in!

I had hoped that by some miracle, the Fat Fairy had come and sucked some pounds off so that I would weigh in under 200, but of course that didn't happen. 209.2 is my "official" starting weight. Which technically is better than the 211 I thought I was. I love my leader - it's a guy, which I wasn't totally sure about at first, but he is HILARIOUS. That scores major points with me, so I'm excited. My mom is a lifetime member so she gave me some cool stuff (recipes, books, etc.) to use, which is cool. I used a couple flex points and had an extra piece of pizza (gasp!) but other than that I've been right on point. No late night snacks or hiding...so far =)

Fun-Filled Day

Today we went to the Kent Cornucopia Days street fair with my parents. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time. Lots of walking and I didn't do too bad points-wise:

Breakfast:
Egg McMuffin (Just the muffin, egg and cheese - no meat) but I still counted it at 9 pts. just to be safe

Lunch:
Okay, here's where I got confused. I had a Raspberry Chipotle chicken flatbread salad from Quizno's, but I didn't eat the bread and got it with no bacon. So it was lettuce, a sprinkling of cheese, and chicken. I didn't eat very much of the dressing either because I just dipped my fork in the dressing and then got a bite of salad. The points tracker says the salad is 25 pts (WTH?!?!?) but I'm sure that's mostly the bread and the bacon. When I put the ingredients I actually ate in the recipe builder, it gave me a value of 6 points. After this lengthy explanation, I went with the 6 pts. I hope I'm not cheating.

Dinner:
1 cooked chicken breast, grilled veggies, and rice. I never realized when I eat rice how much I'm eating. I was trying to cut back a few points since I wasn't sure about lunch, so I only had 2/3 cup rice. That is actually a lot of rice!!! So dinner was 6 pts and I totally felt full. I can't believe how much I used to eat!!

Snack:
One WW Chocolate Cookie ice cream bar - 2 points. I loooove these!!! They are so yummy, and when I ate it, I took my time and enjoyed it!!

Total: 24/26 - two points leftover! But I'm not going to use them because of lunch.

Also, I talked to hubby today about how he felt about my WW plan because in the past, I haven't stuck with anything, and I wanted to make sure he is going to support me in this. He is totally into it! We actually had a good time together planning meals and doing the shopping. He kept asking me how many points something was. So hopefully we'll be able to make our lifestyle changes together.

Yay for the weekend!

I had a great morning at work (I work four hours on Saturday) and tonight I made it through the day with one point still left over. Tom and I went for a really nice walk this evening. We put Ty in his new stroller and walked for about forty minutes. We took our dog too, but she's a corgi and has really short little legs, so she was really tired by the end. We put her in the basket underneath the stroller and she rode in there for about five minutes and then decided she could carry on. I had to laugh at myself because I'm always really self conscious when people say anything to me about exercising - even like a simple little comment - because I jump to the conclusion that they are saying I need to exercise (which obviously I do, but soooo not the point). So there's this guy pushing a stroller coming towards us. We smile and say hi, and then he says "yeah, gotta get out and get that exercise, huh?" Well of course, in my head I'm like, "um, is he implying that I'm a fat ass and need to get out and walk more?" I told Tom this, and he promptly told me to stop it because the guy was just trying to be nice. =) I was thinking that I will be so happy when I can stop obsessing about food and my weight, but then I realized this will probably be a life long challenge for me, so I need to hush up that little voice in my head that spouts off negativity. I used to stuff her face with food to shut her up, now I'll have to find something else.

I have a buddy!

I absolutely loved my former boss, but she took a great job opportunity at another bank branch. I am happy for her, but I miss her of course. We look very similar and are about the same body type - people coming in the bank always asked if we were sisters or got the two of us mixed up. Anyway, I was chatting with her today and mentioned I have my first weigh in on Monday, and after we talked a while, she decided she is going to join with me. We live very close to one another as well as to an awesome new walking path around a new golf course. I don't think we'll be able to go to weigh ins all the time together because I have a part time schedule, but it will be awesome to have someone to walk with and I get to stay in touch with her. I also tried out the new stroller I got for Tyler and it's a DREAM! Our old stroller was kind of clunky and the wheels got stuck, but this one is really smooth, and the handle part is longer so I stand up straighter when I push it. It was a really great evening to walk. It made me feel much better because I had some chow mein noodles for dinner (not home made, so they were a little greasy), and they really made me feel weighed down. It's funny how even a few days of eating better and getting moving can really make you feel better.

*Also, I've been wanting to try Hummus - I keep hearing about it and seeing it as a snack suggestion, but I've never tried it. So if anyone has a hummus recipe they really like, please share it with me if you wouldn't mind. Thank you!

Good Decisions

Well, I had a mini-milestone yesterday. It was my turn to bring the birthday cake to work for a co-worker. I got a great oreo cake, and I didn't have a single piece. And I was okay with it. I came home for lunch and had my sandwich and fruit like it was no biggie. Usually when I bring the birthday cake, I take home the leftovers (and hide them of course!!) to enjoy while I watch Grey's Anatomy. Not this time!! And my first weigh in is this Monday. I would normally be tempted to have this weekend be a free for all before I weigh in, but I really want to get started off right. I'm excited.

Mostly I'm excited to get my weight loss jump-started because I saw some pictures of myself today, and oh my goodness gracious. I would look a lot thinner if it wasn't for my boobs. And my arms. And my thighs. Okay, so overall, I need some help. But man, my boobs just looked ginormous. I might post one of those pics in the kitchen to discourage myself from plowing through a bag of cookies. We'll see.

I'm cheating on my husband....

With food. At least it feels that way sometimes. Confession time: I went to the store a couple days ago, and they had these cute little fruit tarts on sale, buy one get one free. I brought them home and shared the first one with hubby and Ty and myself. But then later on, I heard that second one calling me and of course, I ate it. DH asks what happened to the fruit tart, knowing darn well I ate it. He mentions that there can't be any dessert in the house, because I eat it. So sometimes I hide it, and then I feel so guilty. I'm confused - do I clear out all the sweets? But then I'm scared I'll have a super craving and end up binging. If I have them in the house, can I trust myself not to eat too much? It seems like such a small thing, but in my mind it's this huge burning question. I got some great cherries and watermelon today, so they have been satisfying my sweet tooth. So far, great day. One day at a time.

The Beginning

Well, this is my official commitment. I don't want to be fat anymore. I've been checking out a few other weight loss blogs, and I decided that I was going to chronicle my weight loss and the issues that come along with it. I've never been very good at holding myself accountable when it comes to losing weight. I always swore that I would never be a fat mom. I was going to be the hip, skinny, fun mom that everyone else wanted to be. Somehow along the road, I became fat, frumpy mom. And I haven't even been a mom that long! EEk!

So here I am. My first goal is to decide how I want to go about this. I'm thinking I might join Weight Watchers because a lot of people have had success with it, and it sounds like it focuses on my main downfall - portion control. I can't just eat one brownie and be done, I have to eat the whole pan. So I'd like to be able to eat what I want, but learn to stop when I've had enough.

Wish me luck.